It’s usually fairly obvious to me when a dog walks in if it’s going to be difficult to collect. A dogs comfort level makes a huge difference. If the dog seems terribly unsure of why he is being cornered off into a little room or a strange space and he is the only dog there, he’s probably going to be a little tougher. Some of the tips below are specifically for these types of dogs.
1. An easy one to start with…have treats in your pocket. You should smell like a delicious treat, when he sees you. Just wave it under his nose, give him a little, put it back in your pocket so he sees. Reward him after the collection.
2. Consider having another “less sensitive” dog come out and “say hello” to show that he isn’t being tortured and it’s a pretty cool place he just got brought into. Let them “hang out” and play around for a minute or two, to let the shy boy feel more comfortable.
3. Get Busy! Sometimes, the wishy-washy…lets make sure he’s happy thing, just creates more fear in a dog. I will allow a few minutes, but then after that, I make sure the dog is controlled and safe and I just go for the collection. The less fumbling the better. Especially with a dog that can already be agitated, just getting him focused on the fact that this feels pretty good, tends to change his mindset and you may see him start to participate fairly quickly.
4. Is it an outdoorsy dog? Go ahead and take him outside. Collect him in the yard. We’ve left our mail lady wondering what kind of perverts we are more than a few times.
5. Try a table…doesn’t like the table? Try the floor.
6. A bitch in season is always preferred, but if not possible, just a strange friendly bitch can often times be enough to get him focused. (Don’t forget to reward any bitch you use for enticing…I have seen a bitch go nasty after being used as a teaser for many years. She became dog aggressive, so make sure you make it a great thing for her too and don’t let him be to pushy with her. She’s important too!)
7. Every-time you see a bitch in season, (maybe not EVERY time…that’s kinda weird,) get a good swab off her. Put it in a freezer bag and “store” the scent for your next collection. I like to call it “our bitch in a bag.” You can do the same with a pair of bitch panties or pad or even blankets from her crate.
8. Tell the owner to leave. If you are the owner…maybe you should have someone else do it. You are Alpha and if there has EVER been reprimanding for the boy jumping on his mother, brother, sister…etc. You could be the problem.
9. Conversely, if you are the handler and or a helper ask the owner to come in…Figure out who this dog trusts to be permiscuous around , don’t be sad if he is embarrassed to give in front of you.
10. Make sure he has peed on everything from here to China, and that he is given the chance to poop too. I’ve had a few collections, where the dog just needed to go outside and after he eliminated, came back in to give a fine collection.
11. On a few rare occasions, I have witnessed dogs that prefer to be collected by a man, the same is true if you are a man, sometimes a woman giving it a try will do the trick. The dogs primary caretaker association can sometimes indicate whom he will be most comfortable around. Like I said, it is rare, but it might make a difference. For instance today, we had a dog come in, we tried and tried. The owner was a man. He happened to mention that he had been collected about a year ago and got a great collection. He mentioned the vets name that did it, and later…as I was writing this!!!!….it occurred to me, that this dog is a hunting dog, primarily owned by a man, around men, and after he left I realized that the vet that had collected successfully was a man. The dog was curious and into everything and we, “us women,” would call him back in to keep track of him. Most likely that was who was bossing him around at home too…probably one of us bossy girls that didn’t want his nose in our laundry basket of socks and panties. Grr…kicking myself now, for not trying that and putting it together.
12. Use a different kind of collection device. If you feel he might be sensitive to the collection cone…just collect him with your lubed, gloved or bare hand to avoid the seam of the cone being uncomfortable to him. Catch the semen in a cup.
13. Was he just imported from Germany? Speak a little German if you can or ask the owner to talk in his native language to him if they know it. Usually they know a little if they are importing dogs regularly.
14. Let him watch. Collect another dog first and let him see that you didn’t kill the other dog.
15. Does he seem uncomfortable when you pull the foreskin back behind the bulbous? Sometimes the opening can be tight and it can be better to just let the penis and bulbous engorge within the foreskin. Just be careful to not be as vigorous and don’t try to emulate a tie by pulling the penis back between his back legs.
16. Try different angles while collecting. Try pointing the penis straight up and down rather than angled under the body, up tight against his belly, back between his legs.
17. Eliminate outside distractions. Sometimes dogs don’t like being in a quiet space and then all of a sudden hearing someone laughing outside the door or a phone ringing or another dog barking. Maybe turn on a radio for some white noise.
18. If it’s a little dog, let them hump your arm. Give them something to hang onto.
19. Practice, practice, practice. I don’t advise this, I’m just saying that the more times you collect, the better you will get. The more times the dog is collected with a great experience, the easier he will become and you will get to a point where you can’t get the collection cone on fast enough, before he starts ejaculating.
20. Seek out a professional collector. I can often get dogs that people have sworn no one can get, or that their semen is always bloody and it’s not when I collect it. This is a weird job, there is a reason you don’t know how to do it very well, and that is ok! I don’t know how to cut my hair properly, give myself stitches, make an eggnog latte, change my tires, raise all my own food or fix my computer either…that’s why I pay someone to do it when I want it done right.
The list is generally endless. Be a sleuth. Think like a dog. Think like a human. Would that feel good to me? Would I want that to happen while I was feeling kinda vulnerable and unsure of the situation? I ponder all the time what to try when I can’t get a collection. I will only try to collect for a few minutes unsuccessfully and then I will try to either change something or stop and let the dog relax and try again a little later. It’s important to never be too aggressive, you can change a dogs understanding that a collection should be pleasurable for him. That way he gives more. I’m sure I could think of about 50 more things you can do for a better collection and so can you, I’m sure. Feel free to post any comments or suggestions that you find helpful.
(My sweet little doggie model is an Alaskan Klee Kai, named Bonsai, raised in Sweet Home, Oregon. I had the pleasure of living with him for a few months, before he ended up in his forever home in Texas.)